epiphanicity: 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005

hmmmmm?

4.27.2005

okay, here is a post. I am tired tonight. and I don't really know why. it seems like sleep isn't worth what it used to be worth. Perhaps I am getting old. perhaps watching people waste opportunities (watching myself waste opportunities) is wearing me down. Time is moving at an odd pace for me currently. It seems like it is both racing and I can't find a moment to breath, to smell the proverbial roses (heck how am I to smell them when they are nothing but a red blur as I go screaming by!?), as well as creeping along slowly enough to feel the breeze of a snail passing on the left. I am 30. will be 31 in a month. I don't feel it. I feel like time feels right now. Both old and young at the same time. Too much to do. I want to slow down but there is so much I want to do...so much I feel compelled to do. Precious moments fading away, unused, with full tanks.

I think I will close with a Hiaku

I want what you want
not my will but yours be done
total surrender